Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button “Start” but there is no “Stop” button. We request you to check this.
2. We find there is “run” in the menu. One of my friends clicked “Run”, he ran up to New York! So, we request you to change that to “sit” so that we can click that by sitting.
3. One doubt is that whether any “re-scooter” is available in system? I find only “re-cycle”, but I own a scooter at my home.
4. There is a find button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot to trace the key with this “find” button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
5. My child learned “Microsoft Word” now he wants to learn “Microsoft Sentence”. So, when will you provide that?
6. I bought a computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard but there is only one icon which shows “My Computer”. When will you provide the remaining items?
7. It is surprising that windows says “My Pictures” but there is not even a single photo of mine. So, when will you keep my photo in that?
8. There is “Microsoft Office”, what about “Microsoft Home” since I use the OC at home only.
9. You provided “My Network Places”. For god’s sake please don’t provide “My Secret Places”. I don’t want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

10.  Finally my last question to you is that your name is Gates but how is that you are selling WINDOWS?

Regards

John.

Warning! All these lines are meant for humor only. I will not be responsible if you die because of too much laugh.

• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
• Press any key… no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
• Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
• Close your eyes and press escape three times.
• Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
• This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
• Windows message: “You have just made a type mismatch! Shall I format your brain?”                   
• This is a message from God: “Rebooting the universe, please log off.”
• Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
• BREAKFAST.SYS halted… Cereal port not responding.
• COFFEE.SYS missing… Insert cup and press any key.
• CONGRESS.SYS corrupted… Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N)
• File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
• Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
• Runtime Error 6D at 417 A:32CF: Incompetent User.
• Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
• WinErr 547: LPT1 not found… Use backup… PENCIL & PAPER.
• User Error: Replace user.
• Windows VirusScan 1.0 – “OS/2 found: Remove it? (Y/Y)”
• Backup not found: (A)bort ®etry (P)anic
• Keyboard not responding. Press any key to continue.
• Windows is shutting down. Now get your chubby butt off of chair and get off.
• Window has found a bug in your windows. It’s fuckin’ mouse.
• Thank you for accepting windows user policy. We now legally own your house.
• Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

Warning! All these lines are meant for humor only. No offense to anyone.

Just Another April Fool Celebration.

I hope you like it.

Another Joke that you can try out:

Set the victim’s alarm clock for the middle of the night and hide it somewhere in the room where they will have to get up and scramble around to turn it off. (This works even better if you sneak in after they go to sleep and unscrew the light bulb in their lamp. Then they’ll have to search for the clock in the dark!)

Google’s April Fools’ prank: We’re now Topeka

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) — In the rich tradition of April Fool’s Day pranks, Google has renamed itself after Topeka, Kan., accompanied by an absurd explanation from the company’s chief.

On Thursday morning, the company’s home page was titled “Topeka” instead of “Google,” although still in its distinctive blue-red-yellow-green font.

Why? Because in March, Topeka Mayor Bill Bunten announced that he was informally changing the name of his town to “Google,” just for one month. He told CNN that he was doing it for “fun.” This is Google’s tit-for-tat explanation, according to its official blog, posted by CEO Eric Schmidt.

“Whatever the outcome, the conclusion is clear: we aren’t in Google anymore,” blogs Schmidt.

April Fool’s Day carries a long tradition for pranks and punks, which affect every aspect of life, from the school yard to the board room. Since the advent of the Internet, companies and individuals have gotten inundated with funky e-mails making wild claims, on this day in particular.

Google has made a name for itself as one of the more proactive pranksters in the business world. Every year on April 1, the company tries to punk its followers with a new prank.

The naughtiness stems back to 2000, when Google claimed that its “MentalPlex” could read your mind through your computer screen, allowing users to conduct searches on sheer brain power.

“With MentalPlex, you just project a mental picture of what you want to find,” explained Google, in its 2000 posting, accompanied by a hypnotic spiral.

Last year, Google claimed its site was featuring the world’s first 3D browser, but this was just another case of April Fool’s bunk.

The strange tradition of April Fools’ mass media pranks goes back to 1957, when the BBC broadcast a weird and untrue television segment about Swiss farmers harvesting spaghetti from trees.

Naturally, many of the viewers mistakenly thought the BBC story was real.

News from CNN

Have you ever thought of reading newspapers and articles just to get entertainment and the summery of current events? What about the funny section of newspaper where you can get some cartoons on various topics and satire. The pictures given in the newspaper worths lot then you actually think. “One Picture worth a thousands words” and this saying justifies here. We believe it is a great section of a newspaper.
To cover news we compile the entire newspaper cartoons and publish it on our Pages. This helps us in getting the information and current affairs events from the funnier perspective. Visit us regularly to get refreshing satires, Cartoon archive and more with us. We are also actively working on publishing recent news. We also cover all information from Nepal, Grate collection of photos and all Trekking and Hiking Information for you.

Help us in getting better by sending feedback, Articles and photos to publish on this popular site. All of your article and photos will be published and best among them will be published regularly as one of our featured content.

http://www.pathakmitra.com.np

Thanks

Press freedom in Nepal

INTERESTING DEFINITIONS

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and later kills you with his bills.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Rumour : News that travels more than the speed of sound.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Dictionary : The only place where divorce comes before marriage.

Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree and woman gains her masters.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Etc : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually, sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

IT Professional : One who is paid for sending and receiving such Emails!
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”

Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Employee : One who gets paid for reading such mails……

ETC: End of thinking capacity.